Sometimes the headlines just write themselves. Spoiler: The Jersey Shore‘s embattled Snooki was found guilty of “annoying others on the beach with her antics,” which included, apparently, using a beer bong, falling off a bike, and being entirely too tan (that’s just our opinion).
The judge at her sentencing today in New Jersey also called her a “Lindsay Lohan wannabe.” Which is probably an insult of high degree to any upwardly mobile working actress (and the Post views it as such), but for a reality-TV star who’s paved her way by getting punched in the face, that’s actually sort of an awesome compliment.
Her lawyer, Ray Raya, said in a press conference that the incident was just Snooki being silly, and it’s not like she can help it, she’s famous:
Raya said it is the nature of Snooki’s unique reality-TV celebrity that everywhere she goes, she draws a big crowd, and on the day in question, he said she was being trailed by more than 300 people who were screaming her name and trying to get her attention. “It was an anomaly in an otherwise well-lived life,” he said.
Snooks got two days of community service (one of which the judge is letting her fulfill retroactively) and a $533 fine for her July 30 arrest for violating a Seaside Heights municipal code covering “any loud noise, sound, or music to the annoyance of any other person…” on the beach.
Ah, if only such rules applied to the non-beach areas of life. Except then things would be so boring.