“KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN,” warns the label.
When my friend Melanie came back from the Bay Area last week, she was very enthusiastic about California’s medical marijuana program. I told her it sounded good to me, but I was really in excellent health and couldn’t imagine how I’d get a prescription.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said, “nearly everyone has one. Just say you have a backache, any doctor will give you a scrip if you pay for the physical.”
She was waving a lollipop in the air shaped like a four-leaf clover. “What’s that?” I asked dumbly. She held it closer so I could get a good look. It was a cannabis sucker, swaddled in plastic like a pharmaceutical, the label a strange mixture of pop-psychedelic come-on and TV-drug-commercial warning.
“It’s weird to package dope as candy,” I complained. “Do you really need a sugar inducement for a THC high? It’s like we’re kids and they’re trying to lure us with candy.”
“That’s not the only way,” she said. “When I got there, my friend — who suffers from headaches — gave me some raspberry crumble. They sell it at the marijuana outlets. You can get all sorts of baked goods with cannabis in them.”
“How strong is the dose?” I wondered.
“That’s it — you have to be careful not to pig out. The crumble is so good, you want to eat a lot of it. But you’ll just get too high and go to sleep,” she noted sadly.
I pedaled home on my bike, thoughts of crumbles and lollipops swimming in my skull. Remembering that New Jersey had passed a medical marijuana bill this past January, I wondered if I’d be jumping on the PATH train to Hoboken sometime soon, for the purpose of visiting the “candy” store.
Reads like a regular lollipop ingredients list — till you get to the end.