So, horror of horrors, this happened. The vile interbreeding of clothing species, mixed with the mad-ad-genius of one Jersey Shore-ist, has resulted in the abdominal-revealing Situation T-shirt. Your eyes may never be the same. And, yes, those are Photoshopped flames. But to our great surprise, upon further exploration, this may actually not be the worst shirt ever. In its honor, we came up with a list of the 10 most heinous upper-attire options available to you, here and now. We’re not sure who wins and who loses in this situation, but if you own any of these items remotely un-ironically, please, seek help.
1. The Most Hideous Christmas Sweater EVER
In a word: Wrong.
2. The Crop Top/Mock Turtleneck
Possibly Worse: The Bra Top/Pirate Shirt. This is athletic wear?
3. The “Holy Shit!”
4. The Puffy-Paint Atrocity
As described: “Unique festive Mardi Gras jester in a hand painted design with puff paint, beads and sequin embellishments on the front and back.” But why is the Mardi Gras jester wearing a prison uniform? And a diaper? And eating watermelon? Why are we even asking those questions? (Click to enlarge for full effect.)
Of course, this comes in triple extra-large.
6. The Bill Cosby (also known as the Ugly Dad-Sweater).
Are those pimento olives on the sleeves of the shirt in the upper left-hand corner?
These were actually up for grabs on eBay back in ’08. We hope whoever won them is blind.
Oh hooray. Here are more.
7. In this case, the shirt itself is not the offender so much as is the devilish mechanism by which it is worn.
8. The Lovechild of Jerry Garcia and Wayne Gretsky
9. The Magic Eye
We see a weasel eating a mushroom in Caroline Guiliani’s handbag. And/or dead people. Wearing this shirt.
10. That Thing You Had to Wear in P.E. That Always Smelled Funny
We wonder why. No we don’t.