By 2020, Americans Will Be Able to Eat Their Global Competitors


Congratulations, courageous citizens of the world! Those of us in rich nations are growing larger by the minute, and those of us in the United States (despite a recession that’s apparently not a recession anymore) are at the top of the heap, weighing everybody else down with our XXL tees and Big & Tall pants. According to a new study from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, 70 percent of us are now overweight.

Why? Restaurants. And sitting on our asses. And sitting on our asses in restaurants. Or, a fat virus. Could happen!

Whatever the justification, by 2020, experts predict America will be “the fattest country in the OECD.” And by 2030, 86 percent of us will be overweight or obese.

Look at how great we’re doing so far!

Still, this should not be cause to assume a win. If we don’t keep on our A-game, we could be beaten by chubsters in Canada, England, Australia, or Mexico — or maybe even Brazil, China, India, and Russia.

If all goes well, in 2050, 97 percent of us will be supersized and skinny models will be left to weep alone in their windowless grottos about how they just can’t gain weight and are therefore cruelly ostracized while the rest of us laugh and chase our footlongs with Big Gulps…as a light snack.

You owe it to the nation to eat up, lest we lose our superpower status completely.