Facebook Is Down, God Help: What to Do Instead


You may not have noticed if you don’t regularly update your social media constituents as to whether you’re “eating a sandwich,” or “sooooo tired right now,” but Facebook is down. On the same day that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced his donation of $100 million to Newark schools, and on the same day of the premiere of the-movie-about-him, The Social Network. This is either horrible timing or…something sneaky is afoot?

According to Mashable, it may just be horrible timing.

The company reports latency issues with its API on its developer site, but the problem is clearly broader than that with thousands of users tweeting about the outage.

On our end when we attempt to access Facebook, we’re seeing the message: “Internal Server Error – The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.” Facebook “Like” buttons also appear to be down on our site and across the Web.

Yep, that’s what we see, too.

But on to the important questions: What does one do when Facebook is down? Allow us to suggest the following:

1. Continue to check it. Repeatedly. There is no such thing as too much refreshing.

2. Pen status notes to yourself on your last physical notepad — OMG, Writing About Facebook Right Now!!! — and pass them to your coblogger. He will ignore you the same way that your Facebook friends do. Try to ignore hand cramp from holding pen. Focus on heart cramp over sudden loss of false social immediacy instead.

3. Tweet some shit, just for the stress release. OMG FACEBOOK IS DOWN RIGHT NOW!!! (Get unfollowed by 2+ people.)

4. Read this fascinating article about how sperm may actually prevent women from becoming depressed.

5. Google “Why Is Facebook Down?” When nothing proves interesting, image search it, and find this. Ponder.

6. Plan your meals for the rest of the week. No, don’t. Think about how that guy you kinda like probably Facebook-emailed you and now he’s going to disappear completely because you didn’t get back to him in a timely manner and/or his message got eaten completely in this debacle and OH HOLY HELL life is hard in these modern days.

7. Refresh again. The message changed! Debate what this means. Is Zuckerberg communicating in code?

An error occurred while processing your request.

Reference #97.356ee93f.1285271614.3e07589

8. Realize that you’re almost done writing this post and hope that Facebook doesn’t come back up before you finish it. That would be awkward.

9. Vow to go off Facebook completely once it’s back up, because you simply cannot have someone treat you this way and it’s bringing up all sorts of repressed angst from your child-adult-whatever-hood. Call your therapist. Line is busy.

10.Get great idea to create “I survived the Great Facebook Crash of 2010” T-shirts. Be crushed when you realize that the only place you could sell them would be…Facebook. Do some actual work.

Zuckerberg! Oh, it’s back up. Or not.