So, you may have heard: Madonna has a stalker. Retired firefighter Robert Linhart, 59 — gaunt, ice-pick-wielding, crazy-sign-writing, sidewalk-message-scrawling — is determined to meet her, just determined. So he’s pulling out all the stalker stops. Upon his arrest outside of her apartment at West 64th Street, he vowed to the cops, who’d been called about him twice in four days, “I won’t stop until I actually meet Madonna,” and “I’m going to go right back there and do it again.” That’s stalkery persistence for you!
Of course, it only led to the judge doubling his bail yesterday in court to $20,000. But no self-respecting stalker fears a little time in Rikers. That shit can get you noticed.
Other stalker wins: When Linhart was arrested, he was carrying two pocket knives and a homemade seven-and-a-half-inch ice pick. Of course he was! But as his lawyer says, “There are no facts at all to support that he was going to use that ice pick unlawfully.”
Also, he loves her. But, you know, “It’s not a crime to adore Madonna,” says his lawyer. Only — it is creepy when you do it with an ice pick in hand.
Meanwhile, thanks in a large part to starring in 2002’s Swept Away, Madonna’s pretty much become impervious to human emotions like “being afraid.” This, too, shall pass.