A Bajillion Hits: The Biggest Buzzness in Social Media in the History of the Internet, Ever (Video)


Since it launched last week, People Who Talk About Things on the Internet don’t know what to make of writer Alex Blagg’s new site, ABajillionHitz.Biz. Is it an actual social media consultancy? Is it all just a joke? Or is it the “Hipster Runoff” of social media: a half-joke that isn’t opposed to making money off being taken seriously? This video…

…will not help explain things at all for those people:

Someone recently informed us that they tried to approach Blagg for Social Media consulting to see what would actually happen, and he engaged them as any social media consultant would, with the possibility of (paid) services ahead. So should Blagg be knocked for parodying a business he might end up profiting from? No. Because there’s nothing but wonderfulness here: The fact of the matter is that (ballpark figure) 99 percent of the people promising services like “Social Media Expertise” and “SEO Consulting” are patently full of shit. They’re snake-oil salesmen! They’re sandwich experts. And while the most perfect sandwiches are an art, it doesn’t take an artist to make them, just like it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to manipulate social media outlets and Google to benefit their businesses. It can, of course, be helpful to outsource the work of using social media, which might — might — increase your chances toward seeing better results if you hire someone with a proven track record. But back to the sandwich metaphor: The difference between Mario Batali making you a sandwich — frilly, famous, maybe a little too much to begin with — and your bodega guy, — who knows what’s good, because he spends all his time making sandwiches — isn’t much. Which is why so many people who know what they’re doing just get interns to run a lot of their social media: because they grew up on this stuff, and it’s only hard work if you oversell what you can do with it. [Full Disclosure: Of the three people who run social media accounts here, one is a Web editor, blogger, and staff writer, in addition to running the Village Voice Twitter. The Voice Street Twitter is run by a marketing employee who does about 20 other things and is always at our events running around with a headset on. And Intern Averie is running our Tumblr. They all have other things to do besides their social media positions, and none are exclusively paid for that work, and that work alone.]

How does Blagg fit into this? Unfortunately, many unsuspecting business owners don’t know any better, so they end up getting hosed by paying for some kind of quasi-“expertise” on How to Make Money From the Internet. Here’s a guy who’s both willing to sell his awareness at what a crock most of it is, and who’s willing to sell you his services as someone who can sort through the hornswogglers of social media bullshit, hysterically.

Anybody who has a problem with this is either (A) pro-bullshit or (B) trying to make money as a social media consultant from unspecting businessowners.

[Ed. Note: To be fair, the term “sandwich artist” in relation to social media and search engine expertise should be credited to Ryan Brown, of FameGame.]