Not joke: “We have received reports that a firearm has been discharged on the 10th floor of 750 3rd Avenue. If safe, remain where you are.”
750 3rd Avenue is the former site of Fairchild and currently the site of various Conde Pubs, where at least two of our former coworkers happen to hang their job-hats. So, we were concerned.
Fortunately, turns out that all is well, at least in terms of nobody being shot. According to an anonymous source, the following three emails went to employees, in this order:
We have received reports that a firearm has been discharged on the 10th floor of 750 building, 3rd Avenue in New York. If you are in a safe location, remain where you are. Get behind a locked door, or hide behind some type of obstruction. Lay down on the floor, and remain as quite as possible. Evacuate the facility only if you deem this safe or necessary.
Um, holy fuck.
Then this one:
Conde Nast Security Operation Center apologizes for a message received initially of reports of an active shooter at 750 3rd avenue. The message was sent in error. It was a department drill. Please accept our apologies. Please disregard.
Embarrassing if you’re already lying on the floor, right? Or, er, how many folks still are? Also, is this sort of thing necessary as a drill?
And then this:
Conde Nast Security Operation Center apologizes for a message received initially of reports of an active shooter at 750 3rd avenue. The message was sent in error. It was a department drill that should have remained internal. Please accept our sincerest apologies. It is now 4:00 PM Eastern standard time.Please disregard.
And, our source points out, a phone call with the automated message from the first email came through AFTER the second email stated it was a drill. Oh, and these emails didn’t just go to employees in the office but also to some of their spouses at home. Double oops.
Parents, family members, BFFs, people married to people who work at Conde Nast…NOTHING HAPPENED. All clear, guys. But…good to know Conde security is preparing for their employees to go postal.
Emergency preparedness fail, indeed.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on September 24, 2010