Ashley Dupre, Eliot Spitzer’s favorite call girl, has managed to stick around — you have to give her that. But even after posing for Playboy, she went back to school, demonstrating a commendable instinct to avoid putting all her eggs in the boob basket. There’s something savvy about her, so Runnin’ Scared has done our part to keep her in the, uh, conversation. (NSFW?) But she’s also aware of why we know her name in the first place and in today’s New York Post, Dupre “shares head-to-toe advice for spicing up your love life.” It’s hard to read when one eye is winking so hard.
See, it’s funny because everyone knows what she means when “she” (let’s suspend disbelief and go on the assumption that she actually thought of and typed these words) writes that her tips will “keep your relationship from getting boring and comfortable.” Get it? Eh?
Basically Dupre is the most perfect mascot imaginable for the city’s favorite tabloid. They couldn’t have made her better if they created her in a Murdoch-financed laboratory.
If you want to walk on the wild side, but don’t want to commit, go to Ricky’s and buy a wig and an outfit to match. I’d suggest an electric-blue number like Katy Perry’s in her “California Gurls” video.
Then all you need to do is get in bed and re-create that super-hot scene when she’s lying on a fluffy cloud, naked, licking an ice cream cone. He’ll never forget it.
Then, move to the other side and work your way down to their heart, their stomach, their thighs…and well, you know where, next. It started out clean — now it’s time to get dirty.
Mr. Spitzer, put the paper down, sir.
Body of evidence [New York Post]
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on September 26, 2010