L.A. Is Melting Today: Hottest Day on Record Since Basically Ever, Literally


Man, there’s nothing like New York in the fall, right? Today, we had some afternoon showers and now it’s misting, which means we all get to wear our beige raincoats and secretly pretend we’re detectives, which, if you’re not from New York City, you should know we all do. The rain’s gonna hang out for another day, and on Wednesday, its posse of clouds are gonna roll in, and give us a cozy 72-degree day, making this entire city feel like we’re wearing a Snuggie in a nicely air-conditioned room, without a hint of discomfort. Of course, we have to suffer through two pretty harsh seasons for these periods, but when it’s nice, it’s basically better than anywhere in the world.

Semi-related: L.A. is basically melting right now. Not that it doesn’t already suck to be you guys — a city where Kim Kardashian is considered a celebrity — but apparently a day in New York basically looks like salvation sent from the gods, particularly right now.

According to the Weather Gods at The Weather Channel, the forecast for Los Angeles is currently “HOT AS BALLS AND FUCKING RELENTLESS DEAR GOD HELP US ALL”:

High-pressure aloft is bringing searing heat to Southern California. Los Angeles hit 113 degrees on Monday making it their hottest temperature ever recorded since records began in 1877. This also beat the daily record high set in 1963 by seven degrees. Temperatures have only been 110 degrees or higher three other times in L.A.

Sucks to be you guys!