Dear Struggling Authors of America, please read the following around friends, family, or other people who can protect you from harming yourself. And Jonathan Franzen, look out. You think you wrote The Great American Novel? Think again. Star Jersey Shore cast-member creature Snooki’s book is on the way.
This is not at all a joke:
Simon & Schuster’s Gallery Books imprint announced today that it will publish a novel by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, the breakout star from the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore. Tentatively titled A SHORE THING, the novel will revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk (one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore). A SHORE THING is currently scheduled for publication in January 2011.
Just in time for the post-holiday season! Reminder, from the New York Times profile of Snooki:
“She told me she has read only two books in her life, “Twilight” and “Dear John.”
If art wasn’t dead before, somebody better go check on it. Sweet Christ. Seeing as how Snooki likely needs help pronouncing the words “Simon & Schuster,” we here at Runnin’ Scared would love to know who the ghost writer working on Snooki’s book is, so we may call them up, and ask them exactly what the market value on a soul goes for in New York publishing circles these days.