Neighborhoods

Is There a Dog-Stealing Hooker at the Park Slope Food Coop?

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This may be the weirdest story of the day. A man who shops at the Park Slope Food Coop, and/or a man who hired a hooker who shops at the Park Slope Food Coop (or a man with no affiliation to the Coop who just thought it was a good place to attract attention), has posted this ad on the community bulletin board inside. The “I hired a hooker and she stole my dog!!!! Waahhhh!!!” seems to have been appended after the fact by someone other than the original poster, but nonetheless captures the situation quite nicely. (Photo/flier enlarged after the jump.)

The ad was first noticed (and written about) by a blogger who also works at the Coop. We just want to thank you, kind sir, for putting the idea of a dog-stealing hooker in our heads, because that character is soooo going in our first novels. We’ll call her “Naomi.”

Is this woman a hooker (point in favor: shoes) who stole a dog? Or is this just some sick revenge scheme (points in favor: crazy person handwriting, hooker angle, dropping the phrase “grand larceny,” which would mean, in legal terms, the dog cost more than $1,000…or that she stole other shit, too)?

We called the Park Slope Food Coop to confirm that the sign actually existed and were initially met with a huge laugh (coopies have a sense of humor!), but upon speaking to Jessica Robinson, a general coordinator there, we were told that the flier did exist. Only, “She wasn’t described as a hooker on the posting — it might have said “escort” or something like that. Truthfully I didn’t really read it all that carefully; it’s a community bulletin board, so we don’t prescreen or endorse anything,” she said.

There was, however, a picture of the dog, which Robinson describes as little, white, and fluffy, with long ears.

Is the flier still up?

“Last time I checked,” she told us, “Someone had taken down the part about the woman and left up the part about the dog. I have no clue about the guy, none at all. I didn’t recognize either the woman…or the dog.” [Laughs, again.]

If you are a hooker who steals the dogs of your clients, please get in touch. You fascinate us.

Update: The “dog part” of the flier is still up: She’s a maltese, named Lola.

[via Racked, Naparstek Post]

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