As we told you would happen last night, Gawker Media sports site Deadspin.com has published what they suggest (through careful wording) aren’t-officially-but-of-course-they-are photographs of former New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre’s penis, which he sent to Jets sideline reporter Jenn Sterger.
Three questions will likely arise from what will soon be a very infamous blog post:
We don’t have the answers to these questions yet. Nobody does. But the one on the mind of most football fans who read that Deadspin post today will be:
Is that really Brett Favre’s dick?
If so, the football legend might need some image rehabilitation. And we want to help! See this?
It’s a .PNG file of Brett Favre holding something that isn’t his penis! We want you to find something and put ‘er there! Is it a new vaccine? Is it a gavel? Is it a diploma? Is it Snooki? Or is it a more attractive penis?
It’s up to you to decide! Download the file, photoshop away, and send them or Tweet them, because I have yet to find a way to lovingly bother/torture our web editor this month. The runners-up and winner will be featured, obviously, and the winner will get an awesome, awesome prize.* I haven’t decided what yet, but I’m thinking this $95 LEATHER HEAD™ American football — because it’s leathery, like Favre’s penis, but yet exponentially more family-friendly to hold — would be a nice thing to throw on the expense sheet this month, and throw around the office before we have to give it away.
May the creative spirits behind penis jokes and bad photoshops everywhere guide you!
*There should probably be some legal warning about what we can and can’t give away and who and who we can’t give it to, but let’s be clear on one thing: I’m not versed at all in the legalese of this company and don’t represent it by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, our lawyers likely wanted to beat the shit out of me long before this. You do, however, have my word as a Mensch that your valiant efforts will be rewarded if they pass muster.