News & Politics

Wannabe Scream Robber Did Not Account for Possibility of Water


It’s not enough just to be a robber these days. After all, there’s that Darth Vader bank robber to look up to, and the geezer bank robbers and bouquet bandits to emulate. You need a shtick. Which a recent wannabe criminal had — complete with a Scream mask and a (possibly fake) gun — but, then, a shtick is not enough, either. You need cojones. Or at least, not to be paralyzed by a fear of getting your sweatshirt damp.

Case in point: When Scream guy entered a Long Island Dunkin’ Donuts demanding money, accidentally brave dishwasher Muhammed Kahn turned the hose on him.

“He said, ‘Give me the money! Give me the money!’ He was wearing a Halloween mask and had a bag, like Halloween. I thought it was a friend — a joke,” laughed Kahn.

“I just hit him in the face with the water. After the water, he left.”

Detective Lt. Louis Monteleone said, “The water scared him away.”

Awkward. Robbers…if you’re gonna bring it…BRING IT. We suggest immersion therapy.

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