News & Politics

Target Now Just Being Rude to Everybody, Including Mom


First there was that whole anti-gay/donating to Tom Emmer quagmire. And now everybody’s up in arms about this Target Halloween commercial, which seems to stand for all that is wrong with America to a bunch of Americans. Because the greatest tragedy in the commercial isn’t the kid with the shitty costume — shitty costumes are, frankly, far more character-building and amusing than store-bought pieces of perfect, generic crap.

Nor is it that Target is insulting all of us for not being able to afford their crappy store-bought costumes this year, although, now that you mention it, that is somewhat insulting. Who said we even wanted their crappy store-bought costumes?

The problem we see is, why is Mom the one in this commercial who has to take the blame? Why did Mom, who apparently came up with the shitty costume that her dazed and confused son is so unhappy with, and who, by the way, is still psyched as hell about the whole thing while he just stares — end up being trumped by a mom who will go to the store and pick up milk, scented candles, shampoo, tampons, and, oh yeah, almost forgot, a plastic Bieber mask or whatever kids are being for Halloween these days. And where is Dad?

We don’t say this that often, but when we do, we mean it. Lay off our Mom, Target. We love her, even if she sings terribly and can’t sew. Why should she? She has a career, you know. Also, news flash: When you insult and/or shame her, she will stop shopping at you.

As this year’s Halloween commercials go, however, we’re pretty much in love with this creepy/WTF?/channeling Jocelyn Wildenstein one.

Er, we may have just decided on our own Halloween costume.

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