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What Was Your Best Halloween Costume?


Mine was a hamburger suit that was pretty hilarious, though after a few years it got so mangy-looking that people kept asking, “What are you supposed to be?”

“A scrotal sac,” I’d reply, and they’d run for the hills.

There was also a glittery bodysuit with a hood, but again, it didn’t represent much of anything in particular, so I’d always say I was a gay sperm cell and again, people would race to safety.

And I trotted out the inevitable clown suit for several years, but that was way too cliched — and far too scary. (See photo.)

So now I’m a gift box. You slip it on over your clothes, and when you want to go home you slip it off and it folds into your bag.

If people try to open my package in between, that’s fine, too.

So what was your best outfit so far?

A scrotal sac or a sperm cell?

Or should we just finally grow up?

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