Add this to the list of things you are not supposed to do (see also “streak the president“) for fear of federal ramifications: Thou shalt not operate an aircraft from which you pelt wet toilet paper onto a middle school in New Jersey (and probably other states as well).
According to northjersey.com, Westwood Regional Middle School was treated to a humiliating dose of the good ole tee-pee treatment last night. Some guy with an apparent insatiable urge for revenge actually flew his single-engine prop Cessna over the school to cover the athletic fields, trees, and school itself with tons of damp toilet paper. Fortunately, school officials managed to clean up most of it…except for the “hard to reach” spots up in the trees.
Investigators, who do not consider this funny at all, “retrieved four rolls of soggy toilet paper from the scene,” and have honed in on a person of interest.
“What might seem to be a somewhat harmless prank, in this post 9-11 age, especially with the amount of air traffic we have from Teterboro and the New York airports, a low-flying aircraft is extremely disconcerting,” said Sheriff Leo McGuire. “If this was a prank, it is a prank that will end in arrest for the perpetrator.”
Oh, and hazmats were called, but gave the all-clear. Whew. That would have been gross.
Geoffrey Zoeller, superintendent of the Westwood Regional School District, takes a slightly more liberal approach than the sheriff:
“I don’t think anyone was threatened,” he said. “If you got pelted by a huge wad of toilet paper coming from the air, I suppose it would have stung, but, you know, it was a prank.”
You know he’s secretly laughing his ass off.