Russia Honors Inept Spies With “Important Achievement” Award


Life is good for our dearly deported Russian spies, especially for sexy spy Anna Chapman, who not only is likely to make bank on a book deal but is also attending surprise space launches in Kazakhstan and becoming the “new celebrity face of a Russian bank” — just like a Russian spy-ish version of Kim Kardashian! But don’t worry, life is good for the less sexy and largely unattractive spies, too. Which is only fair.

Today at the Kremlin Russian President Dmitry Medvedev handed “top state honors” to all 10 of spies who were sent back to their motherland in July. So, even though they weren’t, by any accounts, very good spies, they’re doing just fine — in fact, deportation may be the best thing that ever happened to them. Although they can probably never be “spies” again, media saturation being what it is these days. Oh, well, on to bigger and better things.

Even former spy Vladimir Putin has the spies’ backs, making the very spy-like suggestion that the traitors who exposed them “could end up in a ditch.” Or get disappeared, we presume.

Meanwhile, has anyone heard a peep from the poor ignored American spies we took back?

[via New York Post]


This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 18, 2010

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