Following a weekend of service changes on the G train that, again, kept many from going anywhere (let alone to that foreign place called Manhattan), another issue came to our attention: Cabbies aren’t going to Brooklyn anymore, either.
A recent story by the Post found that between August 15 and September 30, the Taxi and Limousine Commission of New York received 611 ride-refusal calls, 190 more calls than over the same time last year. And according to Gothamist:
“…If the Post has a problem, then everyone must be having a problem. They set their crack team of hack scientists to canvass lower Manhattan, and found that nearly half the cabbies refused to take them over the bridge, which is currently undergoing infuriatingly extensive renovations.”
So since we can’t get a subway ride… and we can’t get a taxi to pick us up… and since the Brooklyn Bridge will be under construction until at least 2014 (cue angry swear words now-ish), we’ll have to concede to one of the following alternative modes of transportation:
1. Kangoo Jumps: Not for the faint of heart, often used by those morons who exercise in Union Square. Burn calories while running to that meeting in Midtown, the G train would have made you late anyway.
2. Razor Scooter: Psh, and you thought it had seen its day back in 2000. Time to bring it back out of the closet. Elbow and knee pads not included, although you might need them for trekking into the city on this baby.
3. Hang Glide: Perhaps the most risky of options, but, alas, the swiftest choice. Just don’t end up like these dudes.
4. Swim It: Only a 1K distance from Brooklyn to Manhattan on the East River, you could do that in your sleep! Put on your wetsuit and take a dive, you might even find some hidden treasure.
5. Just Stay In: Don’t bother putting on clothes. Don’t bother putting on shoes. Curl up in a ball and put on your favorite chick-flick from the ’90s. Even if you’re a dude-bro. Everyone likes watching You’ve Got Mail from time to time. Today is your day to screw the MTA and their fare spikes and service changes. You’ll be thanking Meg Ryan in no time.