News & Politics

Dear Rest-of-America: New York City Now Officially a “Disaster Area” to the Tune of $20M!


Hey, Flyover Country! Do you think us Godless New York Liberals want too much of your guns taken off of the street, your unborn babies to become science experiments, and worst of all, your money for our grubby little (often Jewish) hands? Well, guess what! We just score the motherfucking Powerball on your asses.

Yes, FEMA — that FEMA, the one that basically completely neglected New Orleans five years ago under a different president because they were widely assumed to be a godless, wasted city anyway — has awarded us with around $20,250,000.00 (or “Twenty-Seven Million”) of your federal tax dollars to help clean up a mess after one mean little tornado came through and blew The Bros of New York away. And as promised — via our blind, black Governor David Paterson — we just scored a shitton of your money to spend on making our trees look nice again. Via the Queens Chronicle:

Preliminary damage assessment conducted by Federal Emergency Management Agency officials a week after the storms pegged the cleanup and response cost at $27 million. Obama’s declaration provides 75 percent reimbursement to the three affected boroughs.

Thanks America, for the nice wad of cash. Good to know we’re one country, undivided (in your money). Or in the parlance of Rick James:

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