Official Statement: My New Name Is Shine Musto


I just decided that while reheating the McDonald’s hash browns.

I like the ring of it, and after all, the name Michael has always been as common as dirt — sort of like Ralph or maybe even Mary.

I hate it when someone yells “Michael,” and 300 people turn around.

So please call me Shine from now on, folks. It has a specialness that matches the inner Shine hiding under my outer Michael, Ralph, or Mary.

And I don’t want it with quote marks around the Shine, nor do I want any kind of Sade-type pronunciation. (“Shy-nay”)

Just stick with calling me Shine Musto, exactly as it’s written, and please don’t say it with a snap, an eyeroll, or even a lisp.

Accordingly, this blog’s name will promptly be changed to La Daily Shine and the column will in turn become La Dolce Shine.

And when you address me in public, please don’t let me hear you say, “Hey, it’s tired, old Musto.”

I implore you to say, “Hey, it’s tired, old Shine.”

Come on, it’ll make me feel so good.