Today the New York Post covers the story of a PATH conductor who takes very strictly the “no-eating-on-the-subway” rule (but is less concerned with the “no-littering-on-the-subway” rule, to say nothing of the “no-ripping-other-people’s-property-out-of-their-hands-and-throwing-it-out-the-window-on-the-subway” rule.) Michael Wilson of Jersey City has become so incensed seeing people eating on his route that he’s flung a pizza box, a bucket of chicken, and a container of candy from trains.
And those are only the incidents that people have come forward with!
Yeah, we think eating on the train is gross, too. But Wilson’s guerilla warfare tactics sound slightly unhinged…and at the very least, he’s probably in the wrong line of work: After grabbing a box of candy from some kids who were selling it during rush hour and throwing it out the window of the train, he “put one in a headlock and the other in a choke hold, sources and officials said.”
He’s been charged with simple assault, and suspended without pay. But, let this be a lesson to all of us:
Around 2005, he threw a man’s bucket of chicken out a PATH train’s window. When the distraught man said his prescription medication also had been in the container, authorities had to stop the train and search for it on the rails, sources said.
If you must eat on the train, don’t keep your meds in your chicken bucket. If you do, hold on to that thing for dear life. Because you never know when it really will be.