Your best alternative to opting out of Halloween completely: Vegging in front of the ol’ tele — because, let’s get serious for a second, the idea of partying it up Sunday night isn’t exactly motivating when you consider the East Village barrage of drunken revelers, that getting a costume now is nearly pointless (Ricky’s only has scraps of Snooki), and we have to work the next day! So a scary-movie marathon it is, unless you really want to be a jerk and ask your friend if you can borrow their kid to go trick-or-treating.
Narrowing down what movies to rent (don’t bother with the instant-watch Netflix selection, unless you dig meaningless boob shots like in Fright Night) can be a stressful undertaking, so we’ve compiled the scariest scenes.
10. The Omen (1976)
Since no one has the balls to stab little precious Damien (the original Problem Child), the one man willing to go head-to-head with the Antichrist gets his cut off. 9. The Changeling
You’ve seen one seance scene, you’ve seen them all. However, here, the stoic seance lady calls out to the young boy ghost who plagues the house of George C. Scott as the camera simultaneously pans to the vacant room that he once inhabited…and then they make contact — HELP! 8. Eyes Wide Shut
While this movie isn’t that satisfying in the horror genre, as it sometimes falls in the awkward category, it is a Stanley Kubrick film, after all. The freakiest scene, aside from all the crazy masquerade sex montages, has to be when Tom Cruise is being followed, and the single-key piano score doesn’t help matters, either. 7. The Shining
Following suit is another Kubrick film — a classic horror one at that, but we chose a scene that perhaps wasn’t on your radar. One that is slightly more subtle than the bloody twins, or the “Here’s Johnny!” moment. One word: Furry. 6. Exorcist III
Unlike the first Exorcist, in which projectile vomit is a secondary character, this film is elusive in its scare tactics. Look out for shears! 5. The Blair Witch Project
The film that played us for fools (you thought it was real, too!) was genius at minimal cinema. The less we saw, the scarier it was, and in the final pivotal moments, after we were told all about how the kidnapped children were killed by their torturer (he would kill one child while the other faced a corner, then kill the corner child) we see the duo looking for their third mate. They find him and, well…you get the gist. 4. Funny Games (2007)
This movie is disturbing all around. Michael Pitt is insanely good as a deranged psychopath. Call us naive, but we still had some hope that these two young men, even after killing the kid, and the dad, would still allow Naomi Watts’s character to live. In the final scene, they take her on a boat ride. She’s tied up, mouth taped, while the two boys discuss “the difference between communicating in the material universe and the anti-material universe.” Pitt kisses her on the forehead and says, “Ciao, bella.” Click to the seven-minute mark. 3. Pin
This is what happens when you shelter children from real life: They befriend a medical dummy and then grow up to be one. In this scene, little Leon sees the nurse humping the dummy, and if you witnessed that, you’d be scarred for life, too. Go to the two-minute mark. 2. Jacob’s Ladder
Who hasn’t gone to a party where the blend of strobe light and alcohol makes you see double? Insanity at its best. 1. Something’s Gotta Give (2003)
Okay, we’re kidding! Watching Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton in bed is not the freakiest film clip of all time — but it’s close. 1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
We’re going to fess up to this one: It is because of this scene that we have yet to see the movie in its entirety. Even after we were freaked out by the loony hitchhiker, we still had no idea of the horror that was next. The idea of being tortured by Leatherface, who, by now, is dressed as a woman, during a mock dinner with the rest of the weirdos is simply too much to bear.