VICE Magazine vs. Real-Life Haitian Voodoo Zombies: The Second-Dumbest, Amazing Way VICE Has Spent Money (Video)


Last Halloween, the sealant-huffing organization behind hipster bible VICE magazine threw themselves a 15th anniversary party in a warehouse in Williamsburg, filling it with booze, skateboard ramps, bands, and wasted barely-legals from all over the land, claiming to have spent $250,000 on it. It was a shitshow of epic proportion likely to never be replicated. Ever. So how does VICE follow up this year?

By sending reporter Hamilton Morris to Haiti to make a documentary about finding actual zombies — or, to be precise, actual Haitian zombies, a quasi-documented phenomenon throughout voodoo culture.

Not even kidding. To be fair, there is a fairly well documented instance of a Haitian coming back from “The Dead” after being pronounced such by two physicians. The idea is that voodoo priests condemn criminals to living without a soul by killing them with a potion made up of various poisons, and then reviving them with an antidote to live lives as actual zombie slaves in far away hills, outcast from society and locked up in sheds. Which, obviously, VICE tries to find and/or become. Yes, folks, welcome to the new media paradigm: In order to earn a paycheck from VICE, you must attempt to kill yourself and come back from the dead. And they thought Judith Reagan was a terrible boss.

The documentary — NZAMBI! (the Haitian term for zombies) — is being rolled out in six parts here. The first installment:

One more time:

VICE Magazine
sent their hipster correspondent
to go
find Zombies
in Haiti.

It is as utterly ridiculous as it sounds, but you’re not here to watch Mythbusters, you’re here to watch an asshole from VICE spend money trying to become a zombie. It is, to be fair, hysterical. And they obviously spent a decent amount of coin, given the way Morris forks over cash to various Haitians promising to either show him said zombies or make him one. To their credit, there’s a decent, slow-burn payoff at the very, very end of the film that will rock you to the core in a totally unexpected, ultimately fulfilling way. Get there. It’s certainly better than that Paranormal Activity bullshit, and a cheaper ticket, too.

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