84th Thanksgiving Day Parade Will Be As Cheesy As Usual


Charlie Brown will have a few new friends to hang out with as he floats down Sixth Avenue this Thanksgiving. Macy’s has announced the lineup for this year’s parade, which will include performances by Kanye West, Jessica Simpson, and Gladys Knight, helium-filled versions of Po from Kung-Fu Panda and the Kool-Aid Man (huh?), and a new Dora the Explorer float.

Organizers say the parade, now in its 84th year, is expected to draw more than 3.5 million spectators this year to “dazzle,” “entertain,” and “enchant” fans with “the most popular giant character helium balloons.” Apparently anthropomorphic punch pitchers in “size 130” sneakers are really in these days, you know? (Macy’s press release says the Kool-Aid man will also shout “Oh Yeah” and wave to spectators as he “[takes] a skateboard ride” down the parade route. Creepy.)

But the best part will undoubtedly be this OfficeMax-sponsored “Elves Raise the Roof” float in which Santa’s little helpers “bust a move” and do “the magical elfin boogie.”

No, that is not made up:

It’s time get the party started and raise the roof! A little known secret about Santa’s elves is that they really know how to bust a move. When the last toy is finished and all the presents are wrapped, the elves take to rooftops, cupolas, chimneys and balconies to celebrate. Just like the merry fun millions have each year elfing themselves on OfficeMax’s popular website, these elves will dance the night away to the delight of millions. Whether ballroom dancing or having a disco blowout, the magical elfin boogie, bop, and sway will be on full display for the debut of this fun-frolicking float. [via Macy’s]

That’s right, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. “Elf yourself.”

But at least the Murakami float should be cool.