I Have 5,000 Friends on Facebook


And three in real life!

But the important thing is that on Facebook, I have achieved my goal of 5,000 pen pals, and now I don’t have to be pestered all day by people begging for my confirmation anymore.

I simply said yes to everyone in the last nine months so I could fill up my popularity plate and go on with my little life, unfettered by the nattering and the pleading.

And now I no longer wake up every day to literally 50 emails from people with moist eyes begging to be my virtual confidante.

That’s 50 fewer “confirms” or “ignores” a day and about 100 fewer “Please ‘like’ Hubba’s Hair Salon and Barbecued Ribs” to deal with!

It’s a way lower risk of carpal tunnel and/or emotional overload.

And I’m already missing all that! Where did the constant parade of ego boosts go?

As an ominous silence fills my computer screen, it feels like no one wants me as a friend anymore, just the 5,000 ones I already have in my pocket.

Waah. Be careful what you wish for.