Sometimes the small stories are the ones that tell the greatest truths. And sometimes they also give us the clearest glimpses into society’s ultimate downfall. Take the story in the New York Post today of the matchmaker trapped in the broken elevator who therefore missed setting up her billionaire client, who would have paid her a half-million dollars to hook him up with a wife (and half of that just to meet with her!). [Shakes fist at fate!!!]
Janis Spindel, who dubs herself “THE matchmaker of all matchmakers,” promises the following on her website, which does deserve a look-see, because it’s a beaut:
I am THE matchmaker of all matchmakers, I go BEYOND ordinary measures to find the perfect match for my clients, much like a recruiting service, except I hunt for LOVE! Men are my clients, women are my candidates. I will leave no stone unturned, stopping at NOTHING to find what I’m looking for. Men want it all and I give it to them. Beauty, brains, and balance… on a thin frame! Oh, it’s out there guys. When you work with me you get what you want because I see through YOUR eyes. I run the gamut when it comes to age, my clients range from 27-78. Needless to say I’ve seen and done it ALL. Men can be difficult, but I am always up for the challenge, and nothing satisfies me more than proving that Mrs. Right DOES exist! Don’t believe it? TRY ME.
Anyway, poor Ms. Spindel was delayed 25 minutes due to her crappy elevator at 110 East End Avenue, which apparently breaks down all the damn time, and her billionaire (“a six-foot-two, retired entrepreneur who is 48 and divorced”!), who’d flown in via private jet and whom she was supposed to meet for a “power-breakfast” at the Regency, grew bored and left. Nobody puts billionaire in a corner.
Spindel says this cost her at least $10,000 a minute, plus, it was really, really scary!
“There was no air in the elevator. I’m claustrophobic, and it was terrifying.”
So she’s suing her landlord to let her out of her lease and pay her moving expenses. The landlord says, “This is blackmail. This woman wants out of her lease, and we don’t work with blackmail.”
Sorry, wait, we’re still thinking about beauty, brains, and balance…on a thin frame! She does give it all.
By the way, if you’re hoping to perhaps be matched up by Janis, you can join her Club J-Love. Start by asking yourself the following questions, she says:
* Do you find it difficult or impossible to find men who are comparable to you in their achievements and accomplishments in life?
* Have you ever complained to one of your girlfriends, “All the good men are already taken or gay?”
* Are you sick and tired of men with commitment issues?
* Do you feel the clock ticking and afraid you might end up alone?
It’s Not Your Fault, and There Is Hope.
Got that? Now, go throw yourself out the nearest open window. A man will probably catch you on your way down.