Today is a day for crazy, apparently. Which is good. We like crazy. Crazy is kind of a gift, really. Especially when it happens in West Virginia. In this instance…a 41-year-old woman with three names (Melissa Lee Williams) who lives in a room at the 77 Motor Inn (conveniently just four doors down from her — estranged, of course — hubby) arrived at his door to invite him and another man into a convivial game of “eat my pussy” (her words, not ours).
Her husband politely declined, while the other man was in a more agreeable mood and said okay. She started taking off her clothes. All systems go.
As Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”
But a woman, once promised the joys of a good oral fix, does not adapt well to a change in plans. Thus, Ms. Williams grabbed her “lock-back folding knife” and directed it at the husband-fellow. And said, like anyone might given the situation,
“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”
And…scene. As the Smoking Gun points out, this is perhaps the first use of such a phrase in an actual police report. Shakespeare would have been so proud.
Postscript: Williams was arrested for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon. No word on the state of the horrible vaginal odor, but we suggest she not go asking for a raise anytime soon. Also, quite obviously, everyone was drunk. West Virginia sounds like a hoot.
[via The Smoking Gun]