Here we have (courtesy Funkmaster Flex) SOTC deity The-Dream taking in last night’s Knicks-Rockets game (guess who won) with Kim Kardashian, continuing their alleged unholy union, about which we have already begun writing a speculative musical. Here, then, are more excerpts from that work in progress:
KIM KARDASHIAN
So which one of these guys is Jewish?
THE-DREAM
Man look at [Danilo Gallinari] rollllll
Man look at [Danilo Gallinari] gooooooo
KIM KARDASHIAN
I though there were supposed to be more famous people on this team this year.
KNICKS FANS EN MASSE
[The Miami Heat] took my shorty
[The Miami Heat] took my girl
[The Miami Heat] took the any and everything out my world
[The Miami Heat] took my heart from me
[The Miami Heat] took my soul
I should’ve known money couldn’t match love
It ain’t no match for [the chance to actually win a championship]
KIM KARDASHIAN
Aren’t you a Hawks fan?
THE-DREAM
If you ever make your girlfriend mad
Don’t let your good girl go bad
Drop [$120 million] on [Joe Johnson]
Drop [$120 million] on [Joe Johnson]
KIM KARDASHIAN
You couldn’t even take me to a good Knicks game? The Houston Rockets? Really? Isn’t Yao Ming hurt again?
AMAR’E STOUDAMIRE
I wanna hop on the first thing smoking!
STEVE NASH
Tell our agent to book us a plane!
AMAR’E STOUDAMIRE
I wanna be near you!
STEVE NASH
I wanna be near you, too!
AMAR’E STOUDAMIRE
I wanna wake up!
STEVE NASH
Wake up!
IN UNISON
Right next to ya baby!
CLEVELAND CAVS FANS EN MASSE
[Silence.]
Previously: The Ballad of Kim Kardashian and The-Dream: A Speculative Musical
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