Turkey-in-Pants Teen Would Like to Explain a Few Things


The New York Post has caught up with the Brooklyn teenager accused of stealing a 12-pound Boar’s Head turkey from Fine Fare supermarket in Bedford-Stuy via the “putting it in his pants” method. And he would like to clarify a few matters. Even if he was caught on video.

Yesterday, at an appearance in Brooklyn Supreme Court, Deon Williams turned down a plea deal of six months in prison. He also admitted to stealing OTHER things. But not the turkey! (The Post imaginatively refers to Williams using the turkey “as a codpiece,” and we would like to thank them for that, even though we are fairly certain that he did not, in fact, use the turkey as a codpiece. At least not with intent. But that’s a digression.)

Point being, Williams is more of a modern-day Jean Valjean than any codpiece-wearing Henry VIII:

“I didn’t do it,” Williams told the Post. “OK, I stole a cold-cut sandwich because I was hungry, but I put everything [else] back.”

This doesn’t exactly jibe with the tale of the butcher chasing Williams from the store, Williams relieving “codpiece” of duty and retiring it to the pavement, and then punching the butcher in the face. But, hey, it’s Thanksgiving! Benefit-of-the-doubt time!

Anyway, Williams apparently has other fish to fry, or turkeys to stuff, or…well, he has a bunch of other robbery charges he’s dealing with. Turkeys, apparently, are not “gateway thefts.”

Previously: “Turkey in Pants Heist Does Not Pan Out for Local Teen”
“Greg Ruggiero, Turkey-Saving Staten Island Man, Should Probably Buy Stock in Butterball”