Bitch Fight at the Movies


I went to a screening at a large theater yesterday and was a little dismayed that it was mostly filled with skanks seemingly picked out of trash pails and sewers.

Before the movie even started, a verbal tussle broke out in the back, for the whole theater to hear.

A woman was speaking incredibly loudly to her friend.

It was annoying, but I felt she had the right, since there are no laws that I know of about vocal volume levels at a screening.

Still, a control freak behind her got antsy in his pantsy. “Lower your voice!” he insisted.

“The movie hasn’t even started yet,” she shrieked in response. “Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up!”

“I didn’t tell you to shut the fuck up,” he replied, fuming. “I said, ‘Lower your voice’.”

“Mind your own business, asshole,” was the woman’s sage retort. And then she had to go and add the killer: “You’re probably gay!”

Hushed silence. Why did she have to head there? Why is “gay” still used as an insult?

“What if I am?” he bellowed — and suddenly what was a draw between two unarmed opponents became a triumph for the maybe-gay guy!

And then the movie started.