The other sites may tell you how they met (at the University of St. Andrews), how long they dated (8 years), or how much her ring costs (£300,000)…But here at Runnin’ Scared, we’ll tell you the esoteric stuff you REALLY want to know about the prince and future princess of England. Herewith, 10 random facts you can drop to show you really know what’s what about those marrying royals:
1. The prince’s nickname in college? “P-Willy.” Which is, arguably, worse than “Waity Katie,” if largely due to the whale allusion.
2. While you’re eating leftover turkey in front of the TV, Kate will be hanging with Queen Elizabeth II and the rest of the royals at their Sandringham estate for the holidays. Posh.
3. Save the date: The couple is planning for a wedding in late April, around April 28. Maybe at Westminster Abbey, maybe not.
4. “Average folk” (like hairdressers!) are already coming out to claim distant relationships to Kate Middleton and angle for wedding invites. If that was your plan, better pull out all the stops. At least offer to do her hair for the event.
5. Bishop Pete Broadbent of Willesden gets the sour grapes award for announcing on Twitter and Facebook that he gives the upcoming marriage about “seven years.” He’s apologized to the couple and Prince Charles. Broadbent also said he’d be out of the country when the couple weds, as if anyone actually cares. (Meanwhile, horribly offended people are calling for his resignation.)
6. The UK media loves to call Kate a commoner. On that note, she was a Brownie, her parents run a party paraphernalia company, and her mother may or may not have been caught chewing gum in public.
7. You, too, can wear the cheap version of Kate’s engagement announcement dress! Proposal comes separately.
8. Prince William, also a search and rescue pilot, and a HERO, saved the life of a man suffering chest pains while stuck on a mountain in stormy weather just 48 hours after his engagement was announced.
9. The two have already been living together in Wales — presumably, in sin — for 8 months. And, in fact, they lived together while at University.
10. Kate is 6 months older than Prince William. Cougar. And, at 28, “one of the oldest royal brides.” More importantly, she can drink Prince William “under the table.” Cheers.