Everyone knows the Friday after Thanksgiving is the “best time” to buy gifts for the holidays (can’t beat a $3 toaster!) but it seems that people just keep upping the crazy ante in such a way that makes us want to stay the hell away. Like the two women in Florida who started camping outside a Best Buy — 9 days early. Stop the insanity! Here’s a look at some of our nation’s blackest days in Black Friday history.
Like a ghetto version of the toy fight scene in Jingle All the Way, two Californian men got into a heated gun battle in the middle of a Toys R Us in 2008. No one else was hurt but they managed to kill each other after shooting up the electronics department.
Canadian Bomb Threats
Apparently, our country’s craziness has spread to our northern neighbors. They’ve tried to upstage our American insanity by making bomb threats against us. According to the Toronto Sun:
A Brampton man has been sentenced to a year in jail for anonymously telephoning Toronto Police and Crime Stoppers with threats to blow up a large shopping mall in New Jersey days before the 2006 U.S. Thanksgiving.
A Canadian trying to blow up New Jersey shoppers in search of a bargain? Nice try buddy, back to the evil drawing board.
Queens Shooting Over New Flatscreen
A 64-year-old man was shot by two hoodlums who were trying to steal his shiny Black Friday TV. The Daily News reports:
Dudley said the robbers couldn’t fit the oversized box into their car — and fled without it, dumping it on 223rd St.
Remember criminals, you must properly plan your crime before executing it! This is a sorry waste of a good sale item. (The victim, fortunately, survived.)
A Family that Heists Together, Stays Together
Speaking of robbery advice from dear old mom, a couple and the man’s mom were arrested for planning a heist for the day after Black Friday. The family tried to steal 7.4 million dollars in cold hard cash. Consumerist reports:
Roger Lee Dillon, 22, who had worked at the northeast Ohio company for about nine months, had security clearance and used a pass code to get access to areas where cash and checks were kept.
That’s the true spirit of Christmas, y’all!
Walmart Worker Killed in Human Stampede
The most famous story of Black Friday craziness took place two years ago at a Wal-Mart in Long Island. A temp worker whose job it was to open the doors for the throngs of vicious customers was trampled to death as customers scrambled for flat-screens and the like. This video isn’t of that event (we wouldn’t do that) but instead shows another one of the thousands of tramples that happen every year. Some injuries aside, the woman from the video turned out to be okay. One word: Amazon.com.