Last December, our F2K series counted down the 50 lousiest songs from the morass of mediocrity that accumulated between 2000 and 2009—and it was no easy task. The 9/11 tie-ins, the mawkish charity singles, the wan covers, Owl City, the continued existence of Nicole Scherzinger … the ’00s were a bounty for dollar bins at the ever-dwindling number of record stores out there.
And the new decade, so far, has provided an equal embarrassment of riches. (Emphasis on “embarrassment” there.) Pop has embarked on a never-ending race to find the bits of actual food in Ke$ha’s glitter-puke. Taylor Swift is fake-surprised-acting her way through her “difficult third album that doubles as a TMZ slambook” phase. Rap is like A Night At The Roxbury, only somehow less funny. Pitchfork continues to push Wild Nothing and Cloud Nothings and other bands that could also feasibly have the word “nothing” in their title, or at least in the description of their musical aesthetic. Also: we’re just going to say the words “Neon Trees” here so Google has a record of them existing in two years time.
In honor of the year that was, we’ll list the 20 worst songs of 2010 until the holidays roll around—or at least until we all know how to Dougie.
20. Far East Movement featuring Ryan Tedder, “Rocketeer” 19. Ringo Starr featuring Joss Stone, “Who’s Your Daddy?” 18. Godsmack, “Cryin’ Like A Bitch!!” 17. Trade Martin, “We’ve Got To Stop The Mosque At Ground Zero” 16. Lil Wayne, “Paradice” 15. Susan Boyle, “Hallelujah” 14. Liz Phair, “Bollywood” 13. Christina Aguilera, “The Beautiful People (From Burlesque)” 12. Jackyl Featuring DMC, “Just Like A Negro” 11. NeverShoutNever, “cheatercheaterbestfriendeater” 10. Die Antwoord, “Orinoco Ninja Flow (Wedding DJ’s Remix)” 9. Santana featuring Scott Stapp, “Fortunate Son” 8. Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj, “My Chick Bad” 7. Aaron Lewis featuring George Jones, Charlie Daniels, and Chris Young, “Country Boy” 6. Salem, “Trap Door” 5. Artists for Haiti, “We Are The World 25 For Haiti” 4. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, “Don’t Pull Me Over” 3. Cast of Glee, “Loser” 2. Bret Michaels, “What I Got” 1.
(Extra special thanks to Reed Fischer, Michaelangelo Matos and Jordan Sargent for their assistance.)