New York Will Lose Seats in the House, Thanks to Census-Abstaining Hipsters


Hey, if you didn’t fill out your census — and it was easy, seriously — now is when we all get to point our fingers at you and growl, or extract whatever means of punishment seems suitable (kick you out of New York?). The Census Bureau is set to announce this month that our state’s Congressional delegation “will shrink to the smallest it has been in 200 years, continuing to erode the state’s clout in Washington,” per the New York Times.

Damn, y’all! As you probably learned in seventh grade history, Congressional seats are based on population. And population is reported by the Census Bureau. Meaning, Williamsburg “hipsters” who didn’t wanna bother, you guys are jerks. Which, of course, you already knew. The impact of which is this:

New York’s 29-member delegation will lose at least one seat and possibly two, continuing an inexorable slide that began in World War II. The loss of two seats appeared to be a little less likely because migration from the Northeast lagged during the recession.

Of course, it could also be that people just moved away from New York. And most likely, the seats/districts eliminated will be upstate, where towns actually have gotten smaller, not Williamsburg. But we’d prefer to blame the hipsters, or, more accurately, those dubbed so by NPR. Because the alternative, that we are about to be outnumbered, is just too horrifying.

Whatever modest population growth New York State recorded since 2000 pales in comparison to a number of states in the South and West.

That’s scarier than running out of PBR on a Sunday afternoon.