Creepily, Disney built a town in central Florida, just five miles south of Walt Disney World, 14 years ago. It is called Celebration, Florida, and, you might expect, it has a certain Stepford quality, with “manicured lawns and classic movie theaters.” It is also a town where, at holiday season, “Bing Crosby croons from speakers hidden in the foliage.” And, in a bid to out-creep the creepy, it has had its first murder. Milestones!
When neighbors in the community didn’t see their neighbor Matteo Giovanditto, 58 — who lived by himself with his Chihuahua, Lucy — for several days, they started to wonder what was up. (They’re neighborly like that.) They filed a missing person’s report, then went to his condo to investigate…where they found him, dead.
The death has been deemed a homicide, and Disney Town now has creepy red and white crime-reporting reward signs and hideous, “disfiguring” yellow crime-scene tape marring its otherwise pastel Floridian vibe. Someone get set design on the phone, stat.
The irony of being murdered in a town called “Celebration” shall not be lost on those who make this into the inevitable movie, we don’t think.