For my second-to-last Press Clips, Day 27, we have a very, very special treat. Every year, many of the New York-based media companies who produce a large portion of American media that is consumed across the country gather after months of conspiring…to get shitface drunk. Behold:
Red means you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting in, either because the door’s too tough, the party’s too intimate, or it already happened.
Yellow markers indicate crash-able parties you should approach with caution but might be able to snake your way into, you devil.
Green parties are parties you can probably sneak into and cadge free booze and great gossip. And the pink marker is for our party, which is tonight, because we’re a bunch of freaks and we get down in ways you probably wouldn’t enjoy even if you think you would. That said, our door monkeys are armed with butterfly knives, so, you know, also approach with caution if you’re like that.
The entire list:
1. Gothamist, Theater Bar, 114 Franklin Street — December 8.
2. Gawker “Nerd Sites” Party, Gawker Media Offices, 210 Elizabeth Street, 3rd Floor — December 8.
3. The Village Voice, City Winery, 155 Varick St. — December 9.
4. Newsweek/Flavorpill/Tumblr, Ace Hotel, 20 West 29th Street — December 10.
5. Slate, 95 Morton St., 4th Floor — December 13.
6. Eater/Curbed Media, Extra Place, 7 Extra Place — December 14.
7. The Atlantic, La Biblioteca, 622 3rd Avenue — December 14.
8. Gourmet Live, Empire Room at the Empire State Building, 350 5th Ave. — December 7.
9. New York Daily News, Pranna, 79 Madison Ave. — December 13.
10. Blackbook, Pao, 322 Spring St. — December 7.
11. Rolling Stone, The Cabin Down Below, 110 Avenue A — December 14.
12. The New Yorker, Paris Commune, 99 Bank St # A — December 2.
13. Gawker Media Holiday Party, Double Crown, 316 Bowery — December 10.
14. New York Magazine, Lani Kai, 525 Broome Street — December 14.
16. The New York Observer, Foundation, 137 Essex St. — December 17.
17. Abrams Media, Dan Abrams’ Top Secret Lair of Staight Mackin’ — December 13.
18. Time Out New York, Three Monkeys, 99 Rivington Street — December 13.
19. Salon, Location undisclosed — December 9.
20. Viacom, The Hammerstein Ballroom, 311 West 24th St. — November 30.
21. Guest of A Guest, Location Undisclosed. — December 13.
22. Vogue (Rumored), La Esquina (Meatpacking)? — Date Undisclosed.
23. The L Magazine, Home Sweet Home, 131 Chrystie St — December 13.
24. The NYT Culture Desk Party, Landmann’s Place — Date Undisclosed.
25. Vogue (Non-Decoy Party) and Elle, The Standard — Dates Undisclosed.
26. GQ, Don Hill’s, 511 Greenwich Street — Date Undisclosed.
27. Details, The Blind Barber, 339 East 10th St. — Date Undisclosed.
28. W Magazine, Lambs Club, 130 West 44th — Date Undisclosed.
29. WWD, Fairchild Offices, 750 3rd Ave — Date Undisclosed.
Finally, we’re still looking for tips or reports on the parties, and also, we still want to know where:
The New York Times
And anyone else you can think of who are getting down without us knowing. Email me and I’ll throw them on the list. Why spend one of my last days here on a seemingly innocuous and gossipy post about where media companies are having their parties?
Well, because it’s innocuous and gossipy, for one thing. For another, the minutiae actually means something.
Over the last five years, the culture of media holiday parties has changed dramatically, and the place and tone of them are generally obvious indicators as to the health, status, and morale of an individual publication. For example, the last vestiges of opulence in supposedly “better”/”old-school” times (like, say, 2006), as compared with the parties of 2008/2009 — which were mostly abysmal — certainly said something, but look at what’s happening now:
The Observer is out of the conference room!
Like years past, Hearst — my employer-in-reluctant-waiting — is skipping out on the tradition, BlackBook is at Pao for the third straight year, and Glamour is having their party at Glamour editor Cindi Leive’s home in Brooklyn for the second year in a row.
Meanwhile, Forbes, who this year acquired True/Slant, is throwing their shindig in their offices.
I’ll bet you the Newsweek party this year is going to be exponentially different from last year’s. For one thing, they’ll be sharing it with the rest of IAC, and their new Daily Beast co-workers.
Gawker Media’s holiday party last year was far more modest (and cramped!) than this year’s is going to be.
Only one person went home in an ambulance at the Viacom party we heard, as opposed to the given over/under of three! Also, Doug E. Fresh was there.
And so on. They’re generally a better way to take the given pulse of a company — and a media climate — than a stock price or a quarterly report. Whereas stupid numbers that are probably fudged anyway only tell you stupid number bullshit, these things have people there! Drunk people! And drunk people either celebrating or mourning.
But really, it’s just stupid, fun, catty gossip. That’s why I like knowing these things. Remember, people: Water is your friend.