I know, I know. I should be out of here already. But since I’m already on this terrible, indulged roll, one more very, very important piece of business:
I can’t even remotely quantify how much I’m gonna miss this job, the people I did it with, and the media beat, which I’m leaving to people who were never not far better and more professional than me (but especially John Koblin, David Carr, Brian Stelter, Chris Rovzar, Glynnis MacNichol, Joe Pompeo, Michael Calderone, Zeke Turner, Nate Freeman, and Nick Summers). But especially everyone here. Bill Jensen, thanks for hiring me, too. True story: I got too drunk at my first post-job-acceptance meeting with Jensen and Tony. I was told to just “have fun” (and oh, did I). On leaving that bar, I screamed at Jensen: “One month! If you don’t get a call from a lawyer in your first month, you’ll get your money back!” I was joking, but next time, I’ll learn not to tempt fate. [Senior editor] Ward Harkavy, too. There are too many great, talented editors who tolerated me and writers who had to work with me to count. And with exception to that dirtbag Myles Tanzer, we’ve had the best interns in New York City come through this office. But I owe so much more than I’ll ever be able to pay to three people, especially:
Joe Coscarelli, you were the first hire Jen and I made, and the most important. You’re gonna have a blast. You’re the best writer I’ve had the privilege of editing — what little editing I go to do and what less editing you needed, if at all — and you’re in far, far, far more capable hands now. So is this blog. Knock ’em out, says mama.
Jen Doll is the best co-blogger anyone could ever be blessed with. It was a privilege and a pleasure to work with her, and needless to say, we’re now very good friends, which is one of the truly great things I take away from this gig. Words won’t do it, so I won’t even try, but I will say that working alongside you made every day easier and better and more fun than I ever imagined it could be in a job like this. Thanks for keeping this thing running. Thanks for being a good friend.
Finally, Village Voice editor-in-chief Tony Ortega has enabled, supported, and encouraged the work I’m most proud of to-date, and there’s no question it wouldn’t be the case without him. I’m naming my first child “Vicodin Bourbon Kamer” after you, I don’t care what gender it is. I’ll never not be grateful for the chance you gave me to cause a ruckus with you.
Oh, and most of our commenters, you were shitheads, but a few of you were great and kept returning. Thank you. And thanks to anybody who read us. Keep doing it, this blog will only get better.
That’s it! Done. Out. Goodbye. Thanks, sorry, sorry for this, sorry for everything, or almost everything, but mostly, thank you. This was ridiculously fun.