Drunk Walking Is the Latest Scourge to Human Peoples


Now that the holiday season is in full gear, it’s time for a friendly safety reminder. Drinking and driving is bad, yes — we all know that. But don’t assume that taking a cab or even using the legs that God gave you will keep you safe. There are many ways you can hurt yourself, drunk fool! And drinking and walking is, apparently, almost as much a scourge to your personal health as is getting behind the wheel after so many bottles of champagne. In fact, drinking and doing just about anything, save lying on your own floor and quietly giggling until you fall asleep, is pretty damn dangerous.

Trauma surgeon Dr. Thomas Esposito at Loyola University Health System reminds us, “It’s not just walking outside. We often see people who have been drinking that have fallen down the stairs or tripped at home and injured themselves. Even if a guest who was planning to walk home and who has been drinking is staying on the premises, you should be aware that they can trip and fall down the stairs.”

Also dangerous: drinking and talking, drinking and tweeting, drinking and having your photo taken, drinking.

New Year’s Day is apparently more deadly for pedestrians than any other day of the year, which is exactly why you should party so much on New Year’s Eve that you “rest” at home all day and safely order delivery while watching Law and Order reruns on the first.

Stay tuned for the next installment in our Scourge to Human Peoples series: “Yikes, Showers Are Slippery!”