OKCupid seems to think that the Internet dating profile of a guy who seems an awful lot like Julian Assange is, in fact, legit. And we certainly hope it is. But how does it measure up, in terms of actually getting Assange (or HarryHarrison, his online handle) a date? We talked to relationship expert Matt Titus, author of Why Hasn’t He Called?, who had the following recommendations for the next time “Harry” tries Internet dating. Hey, we can all learn something here.
“From my point of view as a relationship expert, I see this profile as a great big flop as far as online dating profiles go,” said Titus. “Where does he go wrong? Right out of the gate he’s trying too hard and is almost fatally pretentious with comments like this one in relation to the kind of woman he was seeking — a lady to aid him in ‘occasional international conspiracy.’ That’s a big flaw when trying to relate to someone in a quick format like a dating profile.”
“What type of girls would you expect this to attract? Well, he complains that he has ‘Asian teengirl stalkers,’ so definitely not those kinds of women…or maybe only those kinds of women?”
More tips from Titus:
“Take a present-day one! So much misrepresentation occurs online, especially with regard to appearance. I have no idea why online daters do this– don’t they realize that in the very near future they are actually going to be meeting the person that they correspond with? When someone posts a picture that is 10 years old and they show up to a first date looking that much older, it is not a good thing. Also, don’t play a role that isn’t you, which is what Assange is doing in his photos. Save the knit caps for the cold weather.”
“Keep it simple! When writing your online profile, please don’t write an online biography! Learn to speak in sound bites. Sound bites are short sentences that quickly, effectively, and memorably summarize what you are trying to say. A long, drawn out profile will only make you look egotistical. You can see this dude definitely considers himself a ‘man of international intrigue and mystery…'”
Save Something for Later
It’s a great idea to save all of these special facts for a face to face meeting. And in Assange’s case, best to discuss all those legal problems in person!
“The bad news for any interested lady,” says Titus, “is that Assange is currently in a jail in Britain, which is gonna make it really rough to connect for that first date.”
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 13, 2010