Why, Yes, There Is a Julian Assange Condom


Thank you for getting on this, good people of Condomania. These Julian Assange-branded condoms are a) the perfect gift for the Julian Assange groupie on your list b) “a great way to spice up your next WikiLeaks release party, especially in Sweden!” c) finally something more interesting than that goddamn nutcracker under the Christmas tree d) a baby-making prevention tool that showcases your current events knowledge or e) all of the above.

Also, they’re on sale! A 12-pack is now 30% off, a mere $8.37. And to whomever’s writing marketing copy for Condomania these days — Wow.

DickiLeak Condoms are made for those unique individuals who seek the thrill of the leak but desire to wear a condom to comply with local ordinances. All DickiLeak condoms feature nanocircuitry that determine the timing and amount of the leak, adding to the excitement of every release!

Um, please note that none of the above is true. We lied. However, despite that fact that DickiLeak condoms do provide unsurpassed protection and do not leak, DickiLeaks are still a great way to spice up your next WikiLeaks release party, especially in Sweden!

Condoms too sexy for you or your gift recipient? How about this more traditional “Julian Assange please marry me!” mug?

Or, perhaps you’re in the market for something more practical? Here is a maxi-pad that prevents “WikLeaks.” Oh, life in these times…

[h/t to @TCT78 for alerting us to this!]

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