It’s time again for humankind’s favorite fairy tale.
You know, how Joseph and Mary gave birth to little Jesus in a barn because there was no room at the Holiday Inn.
And how this all happened without any fucking whatsoever!
Without even so much as a sperm donor or a turkey baster!
Jesus just happened to swell up inside Mary’s tummy like a sea monkey and then he magically appeared to the world without even popping out through her private parts.
This way, the Christians get to serve up the comforting appearance of Christ in their lives without having to endorse any sex act–even though it would have been totally consensual and monogamous, and between a straight married couple just the way they like it, for Chrissake.
Oh, please, Mary.