New York

Hugh Hefner Engaged To 24-Year-Old

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What’s the male equivalent of a cougar? A dirty letch?

Whatever the case, 84-year-old Playboy founder Hugh Hefner just tweeted his Christmas Eve engagement to Crystal Harris, December 2009’s Playmate of the Month.

She’s 60 years his junior and her body parts stay up at all times.

“When I gave Crystal the ring,” quoth Hef, “she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory.”

Should we throw rice or Metamucil?