We were going to write a post called “10 Things to Do When You’re Stranded at the Airport Due to a Blizzard-Pocalypse” but having narrowed the list down to, basically, drink, bitch, and call your airline names, we figured you probably had that covered already. (If not: Drink, bitch, and call your airline names…but not bomby-type names, because that will get you in more trouble than you already are. Also, don’t mention us.) Also: JFK and Newark MAY be reopening at 6 p.m.!
Still, that doesn’t mean you’ll be flying out tonight. Via the New York Post,
American Airlines spokesman Ed Martelle said if the weather clears by Tuesday morning, the airline can resume a normal schedule by Wednesday. He declined to say how long stuck passengers might wait for an empty seat.
But before everybody gets to pissing and moaning: Seriously, guys, we DREAM of being snowed in so that the mundane duties, obligations, and responsibilities that run us to the ground and kill our spirits on a daily basis are rendered null and void, at least until the snow melts. (FYI: It melts!) Until then, or the men sweep it up, you are FREE! Airport-bound, but FREE! This is an excuse way better than having to wait at home for Time Warner or being “sick,” and it’s in the papers to boot! Can’t we just enjoy this rare event until there are dank, unwholesome pee-stained piles preventing you from crossing streets and toxic-looking puddles that you’ll inevitably step in while for some reason wearing ballet flats instead of snow boots?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have lives to get back to. How very NEW YORK.
Well, if you’re dead-set on being unhappy with the fate that has entrapped you at an airport (or at a comfy-cozy home in your fleece p.j.s with your mom making you grilled cheese instead of your boss making you work), you can always drink, bitch, and/or call your airline names. Or you can get in a fight at the JFK McDonald’s. Or watch this, which is really quite relevant, despite being taped in Pittsburgh in 2008. (Apparently they have snow there, too. Who-da thunk?)