Park Slopers Ponder Perplexing Existential Questions Wrought by “You Would” Graffiti


The New York Post notes some strange goings-on in the nabe of Park Slope, where “You Would” tags have apparently never ventured…until now. Graffiti artists have begun to write all over traffic-control boxes and other “blank canvases” with the intriguing phrase, often in pink marker. People are perplexed! They are amazed! What does it mean? What could it mean? Why pink? Does this denote gender bias?

Among those wracking their brains is this person, who the Post talked to:

“You would what?” asked Dorothy Lyman, 29, after finding it on a traffic-control box on Seventh Avenue and 12th Street. “Is the graffiti artist trying to motivate us, as, say, Nike’s ‘Just do it,’ or is this some guy who enjoys saying, ‘You would’?”

Fucked in Park Slope, where they live to answer these sorts of questions, also takes a gander:

I’m so confused by this graffiti I couldn’t even hazard a guess as to what it might mean!? BUT, if someone was holding a gun to my head and said: “you must make a guess as to what this graffiti means or innocent Basset Hound puppies will be murdered and then you will be forced to drink their blood,” I would probably guess that the “You Would” means:

* You would bring your baby to a bar

Still confused? Via Urban Dictionary, “You Would” is “an extremely annoying phrase meaning ‘that is very typical of you.’ The only known comeback to “you WOULD” is “i DID,” but does not sufficiently bring down the person. You must emphasize “WOULD” or it loses meaning and sense completely.”

You WOULD. I did. Also, wine is vastly more delicious than puppy blood.