Donna Simpson, New Jersey’s most famous fat lady, used Thanksgiving to remind America that she is still committed to one day weighing 1,000 pounds. And thanks to some recent menu updates, she’ll be getting plenty of help in her quest from fast-food chains across the country. The Los Angeles Times reports that companies such as Burger King, Taco Bell, and Dunkin’ Donuts are planning to unleash a new gutbomb onslaught in 2011.
Burger King’s new Ultimate Breakfast Platter, for example, will serve up 1,310 calories, 72 grams of fat, and 2,490 milligrams of sodium in the form of scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage, three pancakes with syrup, and a biscuit. Burger King will also sell Funnel Cake Sticks, which are exactly what they sound like. Papa John’s will offer a six-cheese, double-bacon pizza, while Taco Bell will do its part for diabetes statistics by collaborating with Cinnabon to birth some sort of unholy breakfast item. A market researcher delicately terms the trend in new menu options “a carnival revival”; Pfizer, meanwhile, is probably describing them as a “godsend.”
[Via Grub Street]
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This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on December 28, 2010