New York

Stop Saying “Happy New Year”!


I know people mean well, but “Happy new year” is basically an empty, hollow, meaningless saying that everyone emits by instinct, like a terrible Tourettes-y verbal tic that you can’t avoid uttering for fear you’ll be ostracized if you don’t.

I’ve done it myself!

But just like December 26 makes us suddenly safe from syrupy Christmas songs and TV movie reruns about small-town Santa miracles, so should January 4th be the last time anyone is legally allowed to say “Happy new year.”


Can we skip putting this through Congress and just make it a pact amongst ourselves?

Come on, let’s declare a moratorium on this cheery but feeble expression.

Feel free to say a whole bunch of “Happy new years” today–shout it out from your window, for all I care–knowing that at the stroke of midnight, we’ll never say it again for the rest of the year.

And that will indeed make it a happy new year for me!

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