Glamour Magazine Would Like You to Know a Few Things About Men


Here is the plight of the single lady in a nutshell: That there are magazines like Glamour that proliferate various generalized highly unscientific “statistics” about men that we must then banish from our brains or, somehow, adopt into our dating/life realities. Because once you read this stuff, well, it’s hard to know what to do with it, except move on as quickly as possible. Let’s take the latest, Glamour‘s Extra-Hot, Extra-Juicy Guy Survey: 1,000 Men Confess….which got 1,000 men to open up with regard to some highly intriguing questions, hotly and juicily.

Here are the 10 the most important things we’ve learned:

36% are self-described “boob guys.” After that they like butts, faces, and legs. (Personalities not included; those 4 body parts add up to 100%.)

BUT! If they could have any wish granted by a genie, they’d pick a bigger penis for themselves before selecting bigger boobs for their lady.

Less than half say they’d take a male birth-control pill. Many of them, however, were quite concerned about YOU getting pregnant.

79% would “date themselves” if they were women. Whatever that means.

56% secretly want to sleep with their female friends.

7% would “cross over” for Bradley Cooper.

57% would go home with a girl with bedbugs. (Good to know!)

74% would — gasp — rather be stuck in an elevator with a Playboy Playmate than an elevator technician.

Given the option of masturbating to “whoever’s on Conan” vs. “the Food Network,” (when the adult on-demand channel, and, presumably, their Internet is not working), 43% choose the Food Network.

Right now, in January of 2011, 75% of men would prefer to be 5’2″ with a seven-inch penis than 6’2″ with a three-inch penis.

Thank you, Glamour magazine.


This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 10, 2011

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