The Terrorist Tea Pot and Other Suck UK Kitchenware


Terrorist Tea Pot & Cozy — This teapot is a standard, 1.5-liter, bone-white model with spooky eyes painted on either side of the spout, designed by Jackie Piper. Slip the knit tea cozy over the top (it keeps the tea warm), and suddenly your teapot is a terrorist, or a bank robber at least.

This morning I put up an appreciation, noting a few negative aspects, of a key chain corkscrew made by the quizzically named design company Suck UK. A visit to their website revealed even more amazing stuff, much of it not available in the U.S. Here are a few of my favorite items.

Chopstick Drum Sticks — For the musician in your life, a bit of whimsy. Actually, they might come in handy to pass the time while you wait hours for your noodles at Ippudo. Presumably, you can use the end with the nipples to get extra leverage to lift big lumps of food that might slip through the pointed end.

Alt Mugs — These coffee mugs have been subtly altered to change their function in big ways, making them a piggy bank, putting game, cream pitcher, and ashtray. Once you buy all four, they’re likely to never be in the same place ever again, so the whole point is lost, right?

Splat Stan Coaster — Anticipating your own subversive sense of humor, Suck UK has manufactured coasters for hot and cold drinks in the shape of a guy who has just been squished by a great weight from above. But the product poses the question: If you’re the kind of person who insists on keeping the finish on your mahogany coffee table pristine through enforced use of coasters, aren’t you the wrong type to get the joke?

Next: Four more …

Nested Measuring Spoons and Mixing Bowls — The design firm of Joseph Joseph designed this series of nested implements, color-coded for easy identification, even out of context. A boon to those of us with small kitchens possessing little storage space.

Apron Cooking Guide — Designed by John Caswell, this apron is strictly for the fastidious, who don’t want to sully their cookbooks while their hands are sticky with dough or soaked in some colorful fluid. Turn up the bottom of the apron (the text is printed upside down so you can do so), and read measurement conversion charts, cooking and roasting times for vegetables and meats, and other constantly-needed-but-rarely-on-hand info.

Pantone Mugs — For your designer friends, this nifty series of mugs is emblazoned with Pantone color system chips. It makes you wonder, though, just how close in color to the actual chips they were able to get. From the photo, it looks like it might be pretty close. Designed by Whitbread Wilkinson, also known as W2.

Set of Four Cutting Boards — Also for the fastidious is this set of cutting boards with sleek organizing rack. Each is intended to be used for one food group — fish, vegetables, raw meat, and cooked food — so you can keep the stink and contagion separate. Once again, the storage system is part of the appeal for anyone with a space-challenged kitchen.

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 12, 2011


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