La Toya Raiding Michael’s Corpse For a “Tell-All”!


This June–just in time for the anniversary of her brother’s death–bottom-feeding La Toya Jackson will release Starting Over, a tell-all book, big surprise.

Here’s the plug for the book, and in parenthesis are wicked asides made either by posters on or by myself:

“In this explosive tell-all, the sibling with the closest relationship to Michael (LOL) reveals…this intimate portrait of a beloved, yet deeply troubled, pop legend. (NOT AS TROUBLED AS LATOYA.)

“With eleven albums spanning three decades (ALL OF THEM FLOPS) and having earned public respect and affection for her triumph over an abusive relationship, La Toya is a beloved international star in her own right. (YOU’RE BIG IN JAPAN, RIGHT, LATOYA?).

“After some time out of the spotlight (NOT BY CHOICE), La Toya has recently completed her forthcoming album Startin’ Over, which has been well received by critics and fans alike. (IT’S NOT EVEN OUT YET AND IT’S GOTTEN RAVES? CONGRATS, GIRL!)

“Her recent interview with Michael’s chimp Bubbles lit up blogs and news channels worldwide with its heartbreakingly genuine sentiment. (YEAH, BUBBLES IGNORED HER AND LOOKED LIKE HE WANTED TO SPIT AS SHE BROKE DOWN CRYING IN A ‘PRIVATE MOMENT’ FOR THE CAMERA.)

“Now, in this fascinating memoir guaranteed to send shockwaves around the globe, La Toya Jackson exposes the Jackson family’s deepest, darkest secrets.” (DIDN’T SHE DO THAT ALREADY, BACK IN THE ’90s?)


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